Do you know what day it is today? It’s Father’s Day. For 17 years, I wrote you greeting cards on second or third Sundays of June but I never really understood what it meant. I didn’t know what it meant to have a father because you were always away. I’m not sure how I know but in my heart I was sure that you didn’t want to be away either.
Now that I’m in my twenties, I am trying to unlearn the things that I thought were right. These eight years have been difficult for you, me and Mama. We all didn’t know how to be a family. I didn’t know how to have a father. I didn’t know how to be taken cared of. I didn’t know how to have a man around. And I so badly wanted someone to be there.
At some point, I told myself that I don’t want a guy like you when I get into a relationship. I don’t want someone who left. But I kept falling for people who are just never there. People who left. I know it wasn’t my fault they left but I know I’m not giving any reason to stay either.
But in these 8 years, you’ve showed me something I never realized before. Papa, you might have left many times but you always came back. You didn’t need reasons to come back but you always did. And you stayed because you wanted to even if it was difficult, even if we are all difficult.
Papa, you’re my ideal guy. You and Mama are very lucky with each other. One day I hope to find someone like you. You may not be perfect, you may not have been able to give me everything I wanted, but you give me everything I need. And that’s enough. It’s enough for me.
Thank you for your presence for all these years. It’s so nice to have a dad. It’s too bad we missed out on some years but I’m glad I have you now.
One day, I will be able to say all these to you. One day I will be brave enough. I promise not to take long. For now, let me just show you how great it is to have you around.
Happy Father’s Day! I love you. Always.
Your little girl,