Paint Your Words

Dear Papa, Do you know what day it is today? It’s Father’s Day. For 17 years, I wrote...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 05:23:00 +0800

Dear Papa,

Do you know what day it is today? It’s Father’s Day. For 17 years, I wrote you greeting cards on second or third Sundays of June but I never really understood what it meant. I didn’t know what it meant to have a father because you were always away. I’m not sure how I know but in my heart I was sure that you didn’t want to be away either.

Now that I’m in my twenties, I am trying to unlearn the things that I thought were right. These eight years have been difficult for you, me and Mama. We all didn’t know how to be a family. I didn’t know how to have a father. I didn’t know how to be taken cared of. I didn’t know how to have a man around. And I so badly wanted someone to be there.

At some point, I told myself that I don’t want a guy like you when I get into a relationship. I don’t want someone who left. But I kept falling for people who are just never there. People who left. I know it wasn’t my fault they left but I know I’m not giving any reason to stay either.

But in these 8 years, you’ve showed me something I never realized before. Papa, you might have left many times but you always came back. You didn’t need reasons to come back but you always did. And you stayed because you wanted to even if it was difficult, even if we are all difficult.

Papa, you’re my ideal guy. You and Mama are very lucky with each other. One day I hope to find someone like you. You may not be perfect, you may not have been able to give me everything I wanted, but you give me everything I need. And that’s enough. It’s enough for me.

Thank you for your presence for all these years. It’s so nice to have a dad. It’s too bad we missed out on some years but I’m glad I have you now.

One day, I will be able to say all these to you. One day I will be brave enough. I promise not to take long. For now, let me just show you how great it is to have you around.

Happy Father’s Day! I love you. Always.

Your little girl,

:)

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 04:48:12 +0800

juliusih: me That pretty much sums it all up. HAHAHA!

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 18:28:57 +0800

juliusih:

me

That pretty much sums it all up. HAHAHA!

A song every girl should sing everyday. :) MARIA I feel...

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 15:55:04 +0800

A song every girl should sing everyday. :)

MARIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn’t me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It’s alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I’m real.

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I’m loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

GIRLS
Have you met my good friend Maria,
The craziest girl on the block?
You’ll know her the minute you see her,
She’s the one who is in an advanced state of shock.

She thinks she’s in love.
She thinks she’s in Spain.
She isn’t in love,
She’s merely insane.

It must be the heat
Or some rare disease,
Or too much to eat
Or maybe it’s fleas.

Keep away from her,
Send for Chino!
This is not the
Maria we know!

Modest and pure,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!

MARIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the city should give me its key.
A committee
Should be organized to honor me.

GIRLS
La la la la …

MARIA
I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!

GIRLS
La la la la …

MARIA
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:

GIRLS
What mirror where?

MARIA
Who can that attractive girl be?

GIRLS
Which? What? Where? Whom?

MARIA
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

GIRLS
Such a pretty me!

ALL
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I’m loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is a fusion of super- “above”, cali-..."

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 09:59:54 +0800

“Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is a fusion of super- “above”, cali- “beauty”, fragilistic- “delicate”, expiali- “to atone”, and docious- “educable” which crudely put means “Atoning for educability through delicate beauty” which in common english means “don’t hate me because i am smarter than you, because i am beautiful””

- Jacob Pullen’s comment on this Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious video.

The internet is awesome! :)

“Ang hirap mong mahalin.” Nasabihan ka na rin ba niyan? Mga ilang buwan na rin ang...

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 22:26:26 +0800

“Ang hirap mong mahalin.”

Nasabihan ka na rin ba niyan?

Mga ilang buwan na rin ang nakalipas since sinabi sa’kin ‘to pero for some odd reason, ngayon lang ata talaga siya nagsink-in. Siguro kasi umuulan at masarap mag-emote habang pumapatak ang ulan sa bubong with matching background music. (Umamin na kayo. Ginagawa niyo rin ‘to.) Pero marahil naisip ko rin ito kasi narealize ko (finally!) ang masakit na katotohanan na mahirap akong mahalin at kasalanan ko rin ‘yun. At kung pinost ko man ito publicly, ito ay para sa ibang tao na aminado na rin na mahirap sila mahalin. Di ka na nag-iisa, friend. Dalawa na tayo. Tara magtayo na tayo ng club at tawagin natin itong MMC (Mahirap Mahalin Club). Pero ka-acronym ‘yun ng Makati Medical Center kaya mag-isip pa tayo ng ibang pangalan.

Pero ma-segue tayo bago maging dramatic ang lahat. May theory ako. Ang theory ko is ‘yung mga paborito nating mga karakter sa ating paboritiong palabas say something about our personality. Mahilig ako sa crime-romance at ang paboritong shows ko ay Castle at Bones. Shiniship ko ang Castle-Beckett (Caskett) at Brennan-Booth na love team. Pero syempre ang favorite na characters ko ay ang mga leading lady na sina Beckett at Brennan. At kung susundin ko ang theory ko eh talagang good luck na lang sa’kin dahil inabot ng fourth (4th) season finale bago nagkatuluyan si Caskett at inabot ng sixth (6th) season bago nagkatuluyan si Brennan at Booth. At kung one season is equivalent to a year, sumatotal inantay sila ng leading man ng 4-6 years. Buti sana kung kasing-ganda, sexy, talino at badass ko sina Beckett at Brennan na enjoy antayin ng 4-6 years, kaso sa pahirapan lang mahalin ako magaling makipagsabayan sa kanila. Saklap.

Mahirap akong mahalin, let me count the ways.

1. Hindi ako magaling makahalata.

Paglilinaw: Hindi ako manhid. Medyo may pagka-delayed telecast lang kasi may pagka-assuming ako. Assuming ako na mabait talaga ang lahat ng tao at mahilig sila magspecial treatment sa lahat ng kakilala nila. (Ha ha!) On a positive note, at least may isang taong bait na bait sa mga kawawang nilalang na ‘yan at malamang sa malamang, ako ‘yun.

2. Mas naniniwala ako sa sinasabi kaysa sa ginagawa.

Ansabe ng ‘Actions speak louder than words.’ sa’kin? Wala. Walang epekto. Kaya nga kapag tinatanong ako ng nanay ko…

“Nanliligaw ba si ano?”

Ang lagi kong sagot ay…

“Wala naman siyang sinasabi eh.”

Saya. Ha ha!

3. Gusto ko ‘yung hindi ako iiwanan pero ang nagugustuhan ko ay ‘yung iiwanan ako or malayo or emotionally just not there.

Kaya wala rin akong tiwala sa sarili ko pag may nagugustuhan ako eh kasi feeling ko iiwanan ako ulit. Medyo hindi maganda ang track record ko. Ha ha!

4. Gumagamit ako ng PROS and CONS table para madisiplina ang aking mga emosyon.

Management graduate ako kaya kahit pati personal na buhay ko eh mabentang-mabenta ang pros and cons table. Pati mga kaibigan kong girls nahawa na rin sa love life application ng management tool na ito because it really works pero hindi ko sure kung sa ikabubuti.

Mahirap pigilan ang nararamdaman kaya onset pa lang ginagawan ko na ng paraan para hindi tayo mapunta sa puntong walang bawian, walang balikan. Ayokong matouch move kung mali ang galaw. At mas madali pigilan ang nararamdaman kapag may visual reference at analysis na pwedeng balik-balikan kapag may moments ng panghihina ng loob.

‘Wag na natin pag-usapan ang Gantt Chart at ang Time and Motion Study. Pero effective din ang mga ‘yan sa kahit anong larangan ng buhay.

5. Ayokong nagpapasensya kahit lagi akong pinagpapasensyahan.

Isa sa pinaka-ayaw ko ay ang pinag-aantay ako pero lagi ko daw ginagawa ito sa ibang tao. Ang unfair ko lang. Sorry.

6. Kasing-tibay ng Great Wall of China ang trust issues ko.

Naiinggit ako sa mga taong madali mahulog ang loob sa isa pang tao kasi parang ang dali para sa kanila na ipagkatiwala ang puso nila sa taong maaring alam or hindi alam ang nararamdaman nila. There is a lot of strength in vulnerability. Parang sinabi mo lang, “Ganito ako saktan, hindi ganyan. Try mo ‘to! Ayan! Enjoy ka ha!” Samantalang ako, kailangan ng 2-3 seasons before my guards go down at usually by that time, too late na.

7. Hindi ako marunong mangailangan ng ibang tao.

Only child ako so nasa akin ang sapak ng panganay, bunso at middle child. Ganyan kaming mga only child, we’ve got it all for you! Dahil sanay na mag-isa, may pagka-independent kami to a fault kasi pag walang ibang gagawa ng isang bagay, alam naming walang mangyayari. Kaysa mang-istorbo ng ibang tao, kung pwede kayanin eh kakayanin. Medyo nakakahiya humingi ng tulong. Nakakahiya na magpakita ng kahinaan kaya mas madali magsarili.

8. Risk Taker ako sa ibang bagay except sa…

Kung anu-ano na ang pinasok kong kalokohan sa buhay. Matatawag na adventure ang iba pero mas matimbang talaga ang misadventure. Kalokohan nga di ba? At kahit na may takot ako kada hinaharap ko ang mga ganyan eh ginagawa ko pa rin, kahit na luhaan ako sa huli at mag-isang kumakain ng 2 Big Mac meals bilang pampalubag-loob. Pero pagdating sa romance business na ‘yan eh parang dinare mo ko na magbungee jump. Takot ako sa heights. Patawirin mo pa lang ako ng foot bride eh abot-abot na ang dasal ko o kapit. Duwag and proud.

‘Wag na natin dagdagan ang listahang ito dahil naaawa na ko sa self-esteem ko masyado kae-explain kung bakit mahirap ako mahalin kaya dapat hindi itry. I think gets niyo na.

Pero aminado naman ako na mahirap akong mahalin. Kung ako nga eh nahihirapan, mas lalo na siguro ang mga taong wala namang utang na loob sa akin at hindi ako obligadong mahalin.

Pero kung may good side sa’ming mga aminadong mahirap mahalin, hindi namin kayo pipilitin na mahalin kami dahil naiintindihan namin na mahirap nga kaming mahalin. Parang mas madali pa nga if you choose to leave kasi handa na kaming maiwanan. You know, sanay na. (Hashtag: HUGOT. Ha ha!)

Pero if someone chooses to stay with us, guaranteed na mahihirapan pa din sila sa’ming mga miyembro ng MMC pero di sila mahihirapan mag-isa. Mahihirapan din kami kasi hindi kami sanay na may magput up sa’min. Kaya naman araw-araw namin paghihirapan na patunayan sa kanila na tama ang naging desisyon nila. At gagawin namin ‘yan hanggang madalian sila na mahalin kami at madalian kami na mahalin ang sarili namin. Oh di ba? (Bumabawi. LOL)

Bottomline: Lahat ng tao kamahal-mahal, mahirap man o madali, no matter the topak, basta ba binibigyan mo ang sarili mo ng pagkakataon magmahal at ibang tao na mahalin ka.

Hindi ko naririnig ko ang sarili ko. La la la la la.

This message will self-destruct in 3 seconds.

Hands touch, eyes meetSudden silence, sudden heatHearts leap in...

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 11:29:47 +0800

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I’m not that girl

Don’t dream too far
Don’t lose sight of who you are
Don’t remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I’m not that girl

Ev’ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn’t soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who’s winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That’s the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I’m not that girl

Don’t wish, don’t start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn’t born for the rose and the pearl
There’s a girl I know
He loves her so
I’m not that girl

victoriousvocabulary: NUNCIUS [noun] Roman & Old English...

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 09:45:52 +0800

victoriousvocabulary:

NUNCIUS

[noun]

Roman & Old English Law: a messenger.

Etymology: Latin nūntius.

[Christian Schloe]

"Because when something happens, she’s the person I want to tell. The most basic indicator of love."

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 00:26:10 +0800

“Because when something happens, she’s the person I want to tell. The most basic indicator of love.”

- Every Day (David Levithan)

"And she finds it difficult to believe—that a person would love her even when she isn’t trying...."

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 08:37:32 +0800

“And she finds it difficult to believe—that a person would love her even when she isn’t trying. Trying to figure out what other people need, trying to be worthy.”

- Margaret Atwood (via theselittlewondersstillremain)

112233556677: gayblowjob: He built a box, and she painted our...

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 16:13:58 +0800

112233556677:

gayblowjob:

He built a box, and she painted our last initial and their wedding date on it. They put in two unread love letters to each other about why they fell in love, a nice bottle of wine from the year they started dating, and nailed the lid on the box. They promised that if things ever get too hard and their love starts to fade, they will open the box, drink the wine, and read the letters they wrote to each other, reminding them of how much their love means and to never give up.

I shall do that with my future wife.

oh my fucking god.

I’ve always thought that men were slime, And every guy...

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 18:20:52 +0800

I’ve always thought that men were slime,

And every guy I’ve met has proved me right,

Until tonight.

Just when I thought I had it figured,

That life’s a game you cannot win,

He comes in and changes all the rules.

What I’ve been taught,

I learned the hard way,

That life and love are never just,

And if you trust you’re just one of the fools.

And now I can’t believe my heart,

It’s saying don’t resist him,

That I’ve been on my guard too long.

I can’t believe my heart,

Surrendered when I kissed him,

And told me all I thought I knew,

As sad but true is wrong.

If life is worth the disappointment,

I hadn’t seen one reason yet,

Until I met the boy who smiles for free.

Upon this Earth,

There’s no one like him,

He sees the girl I long to be,

Making even me believe in me.

And now I can’t believe my heart,

Has overcome my senses,

To help me see that he’s the prize.

I can’t believe my heart,

Says tear down all your fences,

That everything you want and more,

Is right before your eyes.

I can’t believe my heart

Could be so…

Wise.

—

Love this song! Love the lyrics! Bold and italicized parts are my favorites. :)

"Sana ako naman ang kailanganin. Hindi yung ako na lang lagi ang may kailangan sa kanya."

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 14:39:29 +0800

“Sana ako naman ang kailanganin. Hindi yung ako na lang lagi ang may kailangan sa kanya.”

- Abby

So sad… T_T

langleav: Love & Misadventure by Lang Leav

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 12:46:12 +0800

langleav:

Love & Misadventure by Lang Leav

thingssheloves: untitled by *Nishe on Flickr. I miss doing...

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 21:34:00 +0800

thingssheloves:

untitled by *Nishe on Flickr.

I miss doing this with my mom. We used to dry flowers and put them in cards that we give to people. We should do this again. :)

"Surefire to get me angry = STARVE ME ROAR! CHOMP CHOMP!"

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 21:31:43 +0800

“

Surefire to get me angry = STARVE ME

ROAR! CHOMP CHOMP!

”

"1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go..."

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 13:57:44 +0800

“1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.

2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.

3. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.

4. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.

5. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.

6. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.

7. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.

8. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.

9. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.

10. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.

11. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.

12. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.

14. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.

15. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.

16. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.”

- Sixteen Small Steps to Happiness (via pigmenting)

"Writers are never fully present because they’re always imagining a different version of the way..."

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 11:34:04 +0800

““Writers are never fully present because they’re always imagining a different version of the way things are happening; imagining the past in a different way, imagining the present in a different way, imagining the future in a different way.””

- Jessica Soffer, author of TOMORROW THERE WILL BE APRICOTS.
(via hmhbooks)

cabbagerose: via: thedpages

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 11:23:03 +0800

cabbagerose:

via: thedpages

Best thing I've read on tumblr.

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 19:02:26 +0800

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor: So, you believe in GOD?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD good?
Student : Sure.
Professor: Is GOD all powerful?
Student : Yes.
Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?
(Student was silent.)
Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?
Student : Yes.
Professor: Is satan good?
Student : No.
Professor: Where does satan come from?
Student : From … GOD …
Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student : Yes.
Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes
Professor: So who created evil ?
(Student did not answer.)
Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor: So, who created them ?
(Student had no answer.)
Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
Student : No , sir.
Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smell your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.
Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Professor: Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
Professor: Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn’t.
(The lecture theatre became very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)
Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)
Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
(The class was in uproar.)
Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
(The class broke out into laughter.)
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.
Student : That is it sir… Exactly ! The link between man and GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

That student was Albert Einstein.